Who the Hell is This Movie For?

Have you ever seen any of the Ice Age movies?

I own the first two. I couldn't tell you where they are, but at one point I had them.

I can tell you for sure that I had them at college because they got borrowed a bit. They were fairly popular movies: they made their rounds among my friends at a fair clip. Whenever they returned, they'd come with a compliment like "man, I love that squirrel just trying to get his nut" (which was immediately followed with laughter) or "haven't seen that one in forever and it's still funny."

The truth is I could watch the movie today and I'd laugh. It's just funny. That squirrel, Scrat, is just funny to me. Whoever animated that little sucker has some talent. Anybody who can be funny--really funny--without using words is hustling. That's hard work.

This weekend, I got the chance to go see Rango, the new movie starring--which begs the 'how does one star in an animated movie' question--Johnny Depp, and I left wondering: was that really a kid's movie?

First off, look at the lizard himself. That is one butt-ugly lizard, far fetched from a cute little Woody (get your mind out of the gutter) or any other star of a popular kids movie. That lizard isn't supposed to be made into an action figure. That lizard is supposed to be a character--with flaws. Butt-ugly flaws.

What clenches it for me as an adults-first movie is the language. Within four or five minutes, Rango is talking about a moment where the protagonist needs to be thrust into something or other. When I was six, I didn't know what a protagonist was. I still have problems. Fucking anti-heroes. The script is littered with language that would fly over a six-year old's head.

One even managed to get over my head. In the desert, Rango comes across a man who looks like Clint Eastwood, has awards like Clint Eastwood and was voiced by Clint Eastwood. Rango asks Eastwood, "Am I in heaven?" Eastwood replies: "If I'm not eating pop tarts with Kim Novak, this ain't heaven."

I didn't need to know who Kim Novak was to know that was funny. A quick Google Image Search let me know that she was a pin-up model from when there were pin-up models. Clint has good taste in women. And in food too. MMMMMM pop tarts!

Let me say this about Rango: many have tried to make a kids movie with adult audiences in mind. Kids will laugh at anything. They're an easy audience and butts will be in seats at anything less than PG-13. Rango is the first movie to go the other direction: squeeze an adult script into a kids movie. They succeeded.