Girls in pink jerseys, and other pet peeves

Jessica Simpson reminding us what not to do. 

LB: When you're a girl who either doesn't love sports, or just isn't a superfan, I think there's a right and a wrong way to approach sporting events. While I don't follow it religiously, baseball has always been my favorite sport. I've never completely gotten into football. In recent years I've come around quite a bit, though, thanks in large part to one of my best friends Joy. She's a huge Cowboys fan and has the patience to teach me what a two-point conversion and pass interference are. Nonetheless, I don't try to pretend to know or care more about the game than I actually do, because I think eventually that'll bite you in the ass. 

Worse than pretending to like football or any other sport to impress guys, is to try and distract them from the game with a cute "outfit." I was watching E! News with Joy the day before the Superbowl when a segment about Superbowl "fashion" came on. We both watched and laughed as models with girlified "jerseys" and high heels came up on the TV screen. Ick. Joy weighed in and said that she actually doesn't mind pink jerseys, but "just can’t stand it when you can tell a girl tried to do a cute “sporty” look just because she went with her guy to a game that she could care less about."

In my humble opinion, the safest thing to do when watching a game is to know the team you want to root for and maybe wear that team's colors, and ask questions during down times - these can be hard to determine when you aren't familiar with the sport, though.

CW: How about I lay out some ground rules, then.

1. This might seem trivial to you. It isn't to us. Just get over that already. If you can't accept that, you either have to find a guy who doesn't like sports or just get a lot of cats. This is your Grey's Anatomy or your Sex and the City. Most males accept this about you and don't want to bug you while it's on.

2. If you have a question while we're going nuts cheering or we look so depressed that you're temped to take our belts and shoelaces, just save it. If we're cheering and you ask your question, you're going to make us stop celebrating to explain what a first down is for the 50th time and why that means something with my team up one point with less than two minutes left in the fourth quarter. You just brought my good time to a screeching halt. It'd be like me asking why the hell you need another designer purse after you bought it 75% off: total buzzkill. Likewise, if you have a question after a play that obviously didn't go our way and we're sulking, asking us about it is going to make us relive it and push us that much closer to the edge. You can always save the question. Trust me.

3. If you do manage to save the question, there are perfectly acceptable times that you can ask us stuff. If it's a short question, just ask us when play stops. Since you started on football, lets stick with that. If you think the question is fairly short and simple, just ask us between plays. Quick fix. Easy. If it's a more complicated question, wait until a commercial break. In the NFL, they're never going to be too far off. If you can manage, wait until the end of a quarter or halftime. Just let us know that you have a question. You'll really get major points with us if you say that "I have a question, but I'll wait until the next stoppage to ask you." To us, that's just about equal to us getting you flowers. It shows you really care.

If you really, really want to learn football from your feller, ask him to watch a preseason game with you. Those four games before the ones that actually mean anything are great because in the grand scheme of things, they mean nothing. You can ask all the questions you want. And you will earn more brownie points too.